False Alarm

It was 5 to 7 years ago when I was mistakenly diagnosed to have a brain cyst. I was recommended to have a head x-ray then for possible presence of nasal polyps. I constantly had colds, itchiness and clogging of throat then. However, it appeared on the x-ray plate that there is a white mass somewhere below the ear area. It was evaluated by the radiologist as mass in the brain area.

It was very alarming for the ENT doctor and for me, of course! I thought about my children, my family. I thought I would die soon! Or at least I would suffer with too many medications and medical tests. Thank God, the xray retest showed negative results!

I was still bothered about the initial results and was thinking hard what could have gone wrong. As I tried to recall every detail, I suddenly remembered that I was wearing a pair of pearl earrings then and the man who did my xray never reminded me to take my earrings away. Probably it was the white mass formed just below the ear area when the xray was taken sideways.

Meanwhile, 2 weeks ago, another incident happened, which I thought would be the start of my physical and psychological suffering. I have been feeling flu symptoms, from dizziness, to headaches, weakness, to muscle and point pains, but I never had any fever! I rushed myself to the emergency room. Routine laboratory tests were made like urinalysis and CBC. I stayed and slept in the emergency room bed for around 2 hours and the doctor told me that everything is perfectly normal. I noticed that the WBC results is lower than normal, 3.7 c.f. normal of 4.5 but the doctor reiterated that it's normal, that my flu is just starting to invade my system. Feeling dizzy and groggy, I ignored everything, went home and tried to have a good rest. I was on 2-day sick leave then.

The following week, I was still not 100% feeling good but I at least felt better. I then went to the office and tried to consult our company doctor. Showing her my CBC results, she was very alarmed about it. She asked me a number of questions and even retrieved by annual PE records since 2005. She asked me if I have a family history for leukemia. It's positive because my 2 first cousins died of leukemia and this is another very alarming news for me. The doctor advised me to have a CBC retest on the same day. And so I did and results really showed that I had low WBC count. It made me worry more, with the retest results having the same trend as the initial one. The doctor did not give me any medication but wanted to have a close monitoring on my WBC. I was scheduled to have another CBC test a week after, this time a complete CBC test with fasting, as part of my annual PE routine test.

I had the latest blood extraction yesterday morning. At the same time, I consulted the doctor because of my severe colds, the usual flu symptoms without fever plus never-ending sneezing and eye itchiness. The company doctor gave me anti-histamine and paracetamol for the flu symptoms. She told me that it could probably be flu with allergy attack, could really last up to 2 weeks and may not have fever at all. But there is still a possibility that I may have fever. And so I had my late breakfast and went back to work after the consulation.

I worked the whole day, attended an workshop learning cascade and was really not feeling well after that. I went to the clinic again to have my temperature checked. I have fever at last! The doctor advised me to go home at once, have bed rest and just call up the clinic the following morning to check my CBC results.

Here I am, on a bed rest, but blogging! :) I actually had just taken my breakfast, had taken some medicines and will sleep again in a while. I am starting to feel groggy with the medications I took. I had just called up the company clinic and confirmed that my CBC results have normalized. The low WBC count in the past few weeks may have been caused by viral infection but since my immune system is strong, I never had fever. But this time, my immune system has weaken, having infection for 2 weeks, and so I started to have some fever and my immune system cannot fight the allergic reactions anymore. Taking is optimistically, this is a very good news for me! I thought I'm dying (again! hehe!)! But I will have continuous monitoring---another CBC test after a week. And of course, since we have family history of leukemia, include anemia and prostrate cancer (my dad), I need to be careful with my health. I just don't want to be suspected again to have any other serious illness, even though it's just a false alarm...





-maron-
05may2009
08:53 hrs

Unjust

There are times that it is so difficult to fight for your feelings...to fight for your rights. In this highly political world, everything is becoming so unfair. Everything becomes so unjust. Innocent people become victims. They become the 'sacrifice lambs' to correct ineffective decisions made. We'll never know who the next victim would be. If it could happen to one person, it could happen to anybody else. Who will be the next victim? Up to what extent will it be? When will this stop? When can people receive same treatment as others? All need is a just and fair treatment. It if can't happen, then I might not be able to take it anymore...



-maron-
17april2009
23:55 hrs

Bringing Back Time

It was more than 10 years ago since we last got together this way... long chattings, nibbling, giggling... more than 10 years ago after our graduation in college. Sad to say, we need to ge together to say goodbye to someone...

Joyli (Joy Liit) is scheduled to leave for Japan next week, to stay with his husband and be a loving wife for him. This served as our despedida for her. Many people were invited but only a few got the opportunity to get to the venue. All were busy with their work. Others were away. Other got chores to attend to. As a result, only 5 people got a chance to meet.

It was so nice to hear stories and updates from my blockmate. I was surpised to hear stories from our professors in college. I was walso suprised with the stories that happened in college but I have never heard about it then. I was happy to hear stories of successful blockmates and had so much fun reminiscing the fun and memorable moments. And the highlight?!... our face never changed! hahaha! We were the still faces who were together during college times.

I was so happy to meet all of them. I had so much fun. It's a way to unwind from work. And it only proves that old friends will remain old friends until you realize that they are true friends. People come and go but only few remain. You may not find time to be together always but you will always true friendship once you got a chance to meet them again, after a long time of no communication. This is the same thing as Joyli's love story... they were on for 4 years, broke up and separated for 4 years and stil ended up facing the altar together!

Good luck Joyli! We will truly miss you! Always keep in touch! See you in Japan! =)

-maron-

25february2009

00:10 hrs

Where Is She?

Today is February 17, 2009. It was supposed to be Sherlyn Cadapan's 32nd birthday but where is she right now?

She should be celebrating her special with her family and loved ones. She should be enjoying her day. But everything is left as a mystery. She was nowhere to be found.

Wherever she is, she must be happy because close friends and loved ones remembered her special day.

-maron-
17february2009
22:21 hrs

Sisters and Ages

Kaira and I went to Baclaran Church this morning to say some prayers. At the same time, we took the opportunity to drop by the tiangge around the area.

As I was inspectioning a pair of shorts for Kaira and Keziah, the old saleslady lady asked me for whom the shorts would be. She was about to assist me on what size I would buy, and she pointed at Kaira saying, "Para sa kanya?" ("for her?")

I told her, "opo" ("yes", with respect) then she tried to bring out more sizes and designs for her. As I was looking at the other items she showed, she asked me, "Kapatid mo sya?" ("Is she your sister?"). I was so surprised when she asked that and so I reconfirmed asking, "Siya po?" while pointing at Kaira. Then the old lady said "yes". I smiled at the old lady and told her, "Naku, hindi po. Anak ko po yan." ("No, she is my daughter"). She seemed to be amazed and asked how old I was. I told her, "31 po." And she commented a lot of compliments telling me that I don't look like my age, that my daughter and I looks like sisters only, etc. Well, many people tell me the same thing as the old lady said.

On the other hand, it was last Thursday when I had a Dressings workshop in Fraser Place, Makati. I was the only member from our R&D Dressings team who attended the workshop. However, our marketing colleagues, research colleagues and advertizing agencies were there for the ideas generation.

We had an ice breaker game asking us to arrange ourselves according to the number of years of service with our companies. Well, I was amazed to know that, from all the team members of our team (the whole team was divided into 2), I was the one with the longest years of service! Of course, I was not the oldest there, in terms of age. But still, I had the longest length of service! I suddenly remembered around 10 years ago when I was the youngest member of the R&D team. Right now, I am somewhat in the middle in terms of age range but this game during the workshop made me realize that I am really getting older! Time really goes by so fast. And with so many activities being done in the office, I didn't realize that I have worked with my current company for more than 10 years!

Well, for me, it does not matter because everybody ages. As we age, we learn more things. We become more mature and we are more ready for greater challenges in life. But the good thing is... my age doesn't show! ;)

07february2009
19:17 hrs

"Ang Ganda mo, Ate"

It was my niece's 7th birthday today. Considered as a debut for the kid, we celebrated Kitchie's 7th birthday at Mc Donald's in Vega Center, just before the UP Los Banos gate.

I bathed my 2 kids just before lunch and I took a bath at around 1:30pm. I prepared myself for the children's party. I put on a blue-pink-white stripe blouse and a pair of jeans, fixed my hair and put on some face powder and some lip gloss to moisturize my dry lips---a typical way of fixing myself before leaving the house.

My sister drove the van while my brother drove his pick-up. I was riding with my sister on the van for my husband is at work. I did not drive any car anymore for we could fit in the van already. My kids, my sister's family, my mom and 2 other cousins rode with my sister on the van.

It was drizzling that time. It was around 2:15 in the afternoon when we were dropped off at the McDo entrance in Vega Center as my sister looked for a good parking slot. Mom took care of fetching the 3 kids with an umbrella while me and my teen-age cousin alighted the van last. We just ran towards the food chain entrance without any umbrella at all.

The kids entered the establishment first. They were rushing towards the second floor, where the party will be held. I, my cousin and mom followed.

As we entered the glass door, I noticed 4 kids eating on the table on the right hand corner of the door. They were 2 girls and 2 boys, around 8-10 years of age. They were seated by two's at each row, facing each other on the table. They do not look so rich. They seem to be below average in terms of socio-economic status. It seems their families are not much gifted in terms of material things but they look so happy eating at Mc Donald's. It seems that they were just enjoying the Christmas gifts they received by eating-out at McDo.

The four children were all similing as they were looking at us, as we entered the glass door. Suddenly, one of the girls said, "Ate, ang ganda mo raw, sabi nya!" She was looking at me as she said those words and and she was pertaining to the young boy beside him, who had his back turned on me but his face was looking halfway at me, smiling. He seemed so shy.

Trying to react so that the children would not feel snobbed, I confirmed to the girl about what she said and told her, "Ako ba?" And then the girl said, "Oo, ate, sabi nya, " while pointing at the boy beside him again. I just smiled to them and said "thank you" as I went straight to the second floor to follow my kids and niece.

I want to take it as a joke, or that they just wanted to make fun of me. However, I also know that kids do not know how to make lies and I was so happy to know that even kids apppreciate me. I thought I have changed already, after all the things I've been through lately. But these kids made me feel that there should be nothing to be worried about. Life must go on. With the simple admiration of kids, I appreciated life better! I was also happy to observe that kids, at this state of their lives, enjoy the meaning of the holiday season, in their own, simple ways!

This is a good New Year welcome for me. Tonight, we are hosting a game program for the less fortunate kids around our neighborhood, still all about kids! Instead of lighting firecrackers which would be risky for them, we just host games to keep them busy waiting for new year's eve. Every year, they enjoy the games and the prizes!

We've been doing this activity for 15 years. The kids who participated has been 2 generations already. The kids, when we started this activity every new year's eve, now have grown up. Some were parents already. Now, the kids of the "old kids" participate in the games!

It is really a nice feeling to help other less fortunate people enjoy and let them have fun! The prizes we give were not much valuable, only candies, chips and some other small tokens, but what is more important is how we trigger then to enjoy the activity, practice sportsmanship and good teamwork. This is what we want to teach the children.

Children who have participated in the activity had been 2 generations already. Probably, next time, the people who will be hosting the games will be the sencond generation as well---the Casino clan children in Los Banos!


31december2008
19:09hrs

A Different Christmas

Year 2008 is really a different Christmas for me.

December 2008 is very hectic. It was already the 3rd week of the month, yet I am still having a business trip. I needed to report to work until December 22 and I needed to work after that, at home, even though I am on vacation leave. I had more limited time for my personal errands and I needed to rush everything.

I also have a different approach for Christmas 2008. Years earlier, I was always the one who initiates Christmas greetings through SMS. I always make sure that I was the first one to greet people first through SMS. I compose my own Christmas greeting and put every member of the family as 'sender' in the SMS. Besides, I make sure that I greet everybody, sending Christmas greeting SMS's to all the contacts in my phonebook.

This year, I changed. I lost the zest to greet everybody. I only initiated an SMS to my family and to my friends in Indonesia. I only replied those who greeted me with a simple "Merry Christmas, (name of sender)!", without any special message at all--- a sign of respect to those who made the effort to greet me, except, of course, those people whom I did not expect would greet me, and those who have additional questions in their SMS. At least my greeting is so short and simple but it comes from the heart! Besides, I got a chance to prove who really are sincere in sending their Christmas SMS's to me. I have recorded them all in my inbox! :)

This year is also the Christmas season when I didn't care much about the expenses. It was not about the gifts but it's about the needs of my family, especially my mom. I contributed more for the food, compared to the previous years. Also, I just asked her what she needs for a gift. I believe she already have all the material things she wants so I just asked her what she needs more. It was then assured that what I will give her will be very useful for her.

This year is also the first time when I gave my kids the liberty to buy what they want from their 'aginaldo'. Since they were born, I always deposit in their bank accounts all the money they received for Christmas, and even money received from other special occassions and ordinary days. Even the Christmas gift checks from my company, I convert it to cash and deposit them in their individual bank accounts. No wonder why "they even have more savings than me", as what my husband says! :)

But this year, I believe they have already matured a little and they must enjoy what they earn...of course at a limited cost only! hehe! They are just allowed to buy something at a certain amount, probably the gift checks they got from the Ninong's and Ninang's and the rest will still be deposited to their bank accounts. I gave them the liberty to spend but they are still being trained about the value of money.

These are only a few differences I observed this year. Is it because I am getting older? Or is it due to the changes happening around me?

Well, whatever the reason may be, the only thing that did not change is that I still spend Christmas (and New Year) with my family here in my hometown in Los Banos. We never spent the holiday in Las Pinas because it is not 'where' you spend the holiday but it should be more on the 'how' and 'with whom' you spend Christmas with!

28december2008

21:27 hrs