I Will Survive

Trafc blog
Nov 5 2010
Partially written while I am stuck in the traffic jam, Blog finished at home.

It was in November 1, 2008 when I had accident in our staircase. We were preparing ourselves to go home to LB to celebrate Tatay's life on All Saints Day. I was fixing our luggage on the 3rd step of the stairs then I unconsciously missed the second and first step on the way down. I stumbled on the floor and felt something cold inside my body. The coldness travelled from my foot towards my brain. Suddenly my surrounding started to dim out and I started to feel a cold sweat. I opted not to stand up because I had a feeling that I will black out. I just nested on the floor where I fell. After recovering my energy, I stood up and walked towards the sofa, feeling the pain on my right foot. It was only then when I realized that my right ankle was swollen.

To make the long story short, I started Nov 1 with a visit to the ER and spent the whole day at the cemetery with bandage on my right foot and with me being mobile with my left foot only through short, slow hops. I never bothered to use crunches as I feel I am so disabled. It took more than a week before I could walk straight. But the pain was felt for months.

More than two years after, on November 4 , 2010 am, a similar incident happened. I woke up early as I needed to be in the office before 8am. I had a scheduled training then. Routinely, I rose from bed after a few snoozes in my mobile phone, wore my house slippers, grabbed my undies and towel and went out of the bedroom to take a bath downstairs. As I held my things with my left arm and hold on to the rails with my right hand, I had my first step down the stairs. With a snap of a finger, ka-blam! I accidentally slipped off the stair steps. As a reflex reaction, my right hand grabbed the rail tighter as I was about to fall down but my foot kept on slipping on the 2nd step... 3rd step...4th step... 5th step...Until my foot reached the base step. I slipped off the stairs with my left thigh and being supported by my left elbow and arm. I didnt know how to react but I remembered myself saying, "Anu ba yan! Nadulas na naman ako! "

Thinking that nothing serious happened, I stood up, went straight to the comfort room and continued with my routine. I started with a pee. (Sorry for the slang word). As I sat down on the toilet bowl, I started to feel something wrong. I was starting to feel dizzy. I bowed my head to make me feel more comfortable. However I felt something cold travelling inside my body. I felt that I am starting a cold sweat. I decided not to continue my daily morning routine as if I continued to take a bath, I may blackout inside the toilet.

I then decide to go back to bed instead, take a short rest before I continue taking a bath. Successfuly, I was able to bring myself up to the bedroom turn on the electric fan, aimed it where I will nest and laid down on our bed, beside sleeping Kaira and Keziah. I managed to send am SMS to my husband who was at work to tell him what happened. I tried to recover myself in 10 minutes then I rose again, went down the stairs, this time with bare foot, headed to the comfort room and took a bath. This time I felt pain all over my body but tried ignoring it. I dressed up, ate breakfast and proceeded to the office.

I noticed that there were bruises and scratches on my arms. Later on, when I went for a bladder break in the afternoon, I noticed a very large bruise on my left thigh---nearly oval shaped about 5 x 3 inches in area. The blood has clot this time. Still, I ignored it, proceeded to my workshop, stayed late in the office and went home on my normal schedule, as if nothing happened and as if I was feeling no pain at all.

When I came home, I showed my bruises and scratches to Kaira and Keziah. They were so worried about me. They were actually forcing me to go to the hospital but I told them that I am fine. It was only then that I realized that I also felt pain on my right elbow, right arm and even on the right side of my neck. Probably it was caused by the tension when I tried to hold on to the rails to stop me from falling down. One thing for sure, I did not hit my head. Thank you Lord!

After dinner, even with pain all over my body, I decided to clean up the service area of our home. I swept off the water on the floor and cleaned up the trash. As I tried to pick up the garbage in the trashcan, blood suddenly came out of my right thumb. Unaware, there was a broken glass in the trash can that caused the 2mm wound on my thumb. I washed my hands and rushed upstairs to do first aid then I continued to finish my task in the service area.

Finally, I was about to take a rest. I cleaned myself up and went to bed with Kaira and Keziah. I had pain all over but I managed to reflect on the things that happened that day. With so much body pain, I pitied myself but I do not know who to blame. I just prayed with my kids and thanked God for another day.

Life has many trials. I have been through lots of trials --- emotional and physical. I learned to ignore the pain. I learned to hide it. I believe this is part of maturity and this makes me a stronger person. Though full of trials, life must go on....

Lord, thank you for giving me trials that I know I can handle. Whenever I can't, I know I can hold on to you. Thanks you for the blessing me every single day...

---maron---

23:59pm

05november2010