"Ang Ganda mo, Ate"

It was my niece's 7th birthday today. Considered as a debut for the kid, we celebrated Kitchie's 7th birthday at Mc Donald's in Vega Center, just before the UP Los Banos gate.

I bathed my 2 kids just before lunch and I took a bath at around 1:30pm. I prepared myself for the children's party. I put on a blue-pink-white stripe blouse and a pair of jeans, fixed my hair and put on some face powder and some lip gloss to moisturize my dry lips---a typical way of fixing myself before leaving the house.

My sister drove the van while my brother drove his pick-up. I was riding with my sister on the van for my husband is at work. I did not drive any car anymore for we could fit in the van already. My kids, my sister's family, my mom and 2 other cousins rode with my sister on the van.

It was drizzling that time. It was around 2:15 in the afternoon when we were dropped off at the McDo entrance in Vega Center as my sister looked for a good parking slot. Mom took care of fetching the 3 kids with an umbrella while me and my teen-age cousin alighted the van last. We just ran towards the food chain entrance without any umbrella at all.

The kids entered the establishment first. They were rushing towards the second floor, where the party will be held. I, my cousin and mom followed.

As we entered the glass door, I noticed 4 kids eating on the table on the right hand corner of the door. They were 2 girls and 2 boys, around 8-10 years of age. They were seated by two's at each row, facing each other on the table. They do not look so rich. They seem to be below average in terms of socio-economic status. It seems their families are not much gifted in terms of material things but they look so happy eating at Mc Donald's. It seems that they were just enjoying the Christmas gifts they received by eating-out at McDo.

The four children were all similing as they were looking at us, as we entered the glass door. Suddenly, one of the girls said, "Ate, ang ganda mo raw, sabi nya!" She was looking at me as she said those words and and she was pertaining to the young boy beside him, who had his back turned on me but his face was looking halfway at me, smiling. He seemed so shy.

Trying to react so that the children would not feel snobbed, I confirmed to the girl about what she said and told her, "Ako ba?" And then the girl said, "Oo, ate, sabi nya, " while pointing at the boy beside him again. I just smiled to them and said "thank you" as I went straight to the second floor to follow my kids and niece.

I want to take it as a joke, or that they just wanted to make fun of me. However, I also know that kids do not know how to make lies and I was so happy to know that even kids apppreciate me. I thought I have changed already, after all the things I've been through lately. But these kids made me feel that there should be nothing to be worried about. Life must go on. With the simple admiration of kids, I appreciated life better! I was also happy to observe that kids, at this state of their lives, enjoy the meaning of the holiday season, in their own, simple ways!

This is a good New Year welcome for me. Tonight, we are hosting a game program for the less fortunate kids around our neighborhood, still all about kids! Instead of lighting firecrackers which would be risky for them, we just host games to keep them busy waiting for new year's eve. Every year, they enjoy the games and the prizes!

We've been doing this activity for 15 years. The kids who participated has been 2 generations already. The kids, when we started this activity every new year's eve, now have grown up. Some were parents already. Now, the kids of the "old kids" participate in the games!

It is really a nice feeling to help other less fortunate people enjoy and let them have fun! The prizes we give were not much valuable, only candies, chips and some other small tokens, but what is more important is how we trigger then to enjoy the activity, practice sportsmanship and good teamwork. This is what we want to teach the children.

Children who have participated in the activity had been 2 generations already. Probably, next time, the people who will be hosting the games will be the sencond generation as well---the Casino clan children in Los Banos!


31december2008
19:09hrs

A Different Christmas

Year 2008 is really a different Christmas for me.

December 2008 is very hectic. It was already the 3rd week of the month, yet I am still having a business trip. I needed to report to work until December 22 and I needed to work after that, at home, even though I am on vacation leave. I had more limited time for my personal errands and I needed to rush everything.

I also have a different approach for Christmas 2008. Years earlier, I was always the one who initiates Christmas greetings through SMS. I always make sure that I was the first one to greet people first through SMS. I compose my own Christmas greeting and put every member of the family as 'sender' in the SMS. Besides, I make sure that I greet everybody, sending Christmas greeting SMS's to all the contacts in my phonebook.

This year, I changed. I lost the zest to greet everybody. I only initiated an SMS to my family and to my friends in Indonesia. I only replied those who greeted me with a simple "Merry Christmas, (name of sender)!", without any special message at all--- a sign of respect to those who made the effort to greet me, except, of course, those people whom I did not expect would greet me, and those who have additional questions in their SMS. At least my greeting is so short and simple but it comes from the heart! Besides, I got a chance to prove who really are sincere in sending their Christmas SMS's to me. I have recorded them all in my inbox! :)

This year is also the Christmas season when I didn't care much about the expenses. It was not about the gifts but it's about the needs of my family, especially my mom. I contributed more for the food, compared to the previous years. Also, I just asked her what she needs for a gift. I believe she already have all the material things she wants so I just asked her what she needs more. It was then assured that what I will give her will be very useful for her.

This year is also the first time when I gave my kids the liberty to buy what they want from their 'aginaldo'. Since they were born, I always deposit in their bank accounts all the money they received for Christmas, and even money received from other special occassions and ordinary days. Even the Christmas gift checks from my company, I convert it to cash and deposit them in their individual bank accounts. No wonder why "they even have more savings than me", as what my husband says! :)

But this year, I believe they have already matured a little and they must enjoy what they earn...of course at a limited cost only! hehe! They are just allowed to buy something at a certain amount, probably the gift checks they got from the Ninong's and Ninang's and the rest will still be deposited to their bank accounts. I gave them the liberty to spend but they are still being trained about the value of money.

These are only a few differences I observed this year. Is it because I am getting older? Or is it due to the changes happening around me?

Well, whatever the reason may be, the only thing that did not change is that I still spend Christmas (and New Year) with my family here in my hometown in Los Banos. We never spent the holiday in Las Pinas because it is not 'where' you spend the holiday but it should be more on the 'how' and 'with whom' you spend Christmas with!

28december2008

21:27 hrs

Nice to be back

It has been a long time since I last wrote blogs! I almost forgot my log-in name and password. After so many trials, I finally got it! :)

Well, Christmas day is almost over but I wanna greet everybody first a very merry Christmas! I hope everybody enjoyed their special time with their families and loved ones!

I had not written blogs for a long time that I had so many things in mind that I would like to talk about. However, I can only write them one at a time. Since it's Christmas day, I wanna talk about how I spent the Christmas season this year.

Q4 this year had been a unique year-end for me. So many turning points had happened. So many lessons were learned and so many situations were experienced. Some friends were lost but a few friends were also gained. God really balances everything and He always compensates for what He takes away from you. He always replaces things lost with something better and He gives you better experiences for something that is taken away from you.

I had been through a lot this year and the last 3 months are really something remarkable. It has been the time when I experienced losing a friend. It has been the time when I almost quit my work. It has been the time when I almost lost my patience. It has been the time when I proved that I could really be trusted... from 1,2 or 3 people whom I really shut my mouth off when it comes to sharing their deepest secrets! It has been the time when I almost lost my stance... I almost broke my ankle! I needed to stop my daily exercise and so something in me changed. I was always sick and stressed lately. I was so sad to know that my deaf-mute aunt is also blind now, due to diabetes. So many other things happened and the others I must just keep to myself.

It was also only this year that I could not take all my VL's anymore. The year has almost ended and I still have 11 days VL remaining. There is no way of availing it anymore. Besides, I needed to work, deliver a presentation, during my vacation and send it even before I am scheduled to go back to work. This really is a very stressful year for me!

For my personal errands to do, this was also the first time when I panicked for Christmas gifts. Years before, I already finished wrapping gifts by November 30. This time, I am still rushing for gift-shopping until December 22! I think I really lack time for myself due to the the workload I had lately.

But still, I am still happy that there is always a bright side of everything. I gained new experiences. I became 1 step more mature and gained another year in my life. I am happy that I spent another Christmas with my friends and family. I can now walk straight! hehe! I may have been always sick lately but still I am here writing blogs.

Despite the very busy schedule, I still had a chance to spare some time with my friends...release the stress, vent out my agonies and return to favor to them as well. This was also the first time when we had our Christmas get-together before Christmas day! It was so good to know that we had a better planning this time and that we all could find a common time for our group before Christmas!

What I am most happy about this Christmas is that my family is complete this Christmas! Dad is away but I know he is watching over us, for 9 straight years! I am thankful that mom is still physically and emotionally very strong and she is still very motivated to reach for her dreams! I am thankful that my sister surpassed her medical procedure and my brother found a good job this year! I am thankful that all of us are healthy, despite the few stress we have from work.

Christmas is really something to be thankful for. It falls towards the end of the year and it really is a good timing to reflect on what happened to your life each year. Since it its the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, it is something worth reflecting on what 'rights' and 'wrongs' you had done in the past year... something worth continuing or worth correcting for. It is the time worth reflecting on the experiences you had, the people who became a part of your life and reflecting on the purposes they play for you, the experiences you had and the purposes it played as well, for every situation has a purpose...or else, it would not happen to you instead.

By now, Christmas day is over. It's 12:12am of December 26, 2008. Christmas day is over but we must always keep in mind the true meaning of Christmas! Let us all remember that everything has a purpose!

Merry Christmas!

25december2008

23:03hrs

Regrets

Something unforgetable but a well-learned lesson, happened tonight. It was not intentional but I really regret that those words came from my mouth. ..

My dearest Kei,

I am so sorry about what happened tonight. It was not intentional that those words came from me. I just want to set examples and open your mind to the real world. It was not implied that it was you I was pertaining to. It was just coincidental that everything happened and I regret so much speaking those words that hurt you.

It was so heart-breaking for me to see tears falling down from your eyes because of words that came from my mouth. At your very young age, I never thought that those words would hurt you. Now I had a lesson learned. I just realized that you are starting to have a mature mind. I must talk maturely to you then. I never thought that people at your age would understand and be affected by those kind of words. I adore you for doing so. It just means that all the things that I taught you are now being processed in your heart and mind.

The moment I saw tears falling from your eyes, I hugged you tight, kissed you and apologized for what I have done. I am thankful enough that you understood my explanation well and you took away all your grudges for me.

I hope and pray that you continue to understand me as I get older and face more challenges in life. I hope and pray that you, together with Keziah, will always be by my side, whatever happens. Let us face life's challenges together! I will always be there for you and Keziah---an ear to listen, an arm to hold on, a shoulder to cry on and a chest to provide comfort. Never forget that you have a mother who will do anything for you.

I love you so much and thanks for always understanding and loving me. Continue to be a strong girl but never forget to release your emotions. It will always help you ease the pain and will make you a stronger person as you learn how to handle life's obstacles. In doing so, it makes you mature and makes more challenges in life easier to handle!

I am so sorry again. Thank you for accepting my apologies. I love you so much!

love always,

Mommy Ro

-maron-

04december2008

00:06 hrs