"Ang Ganda mo, Ate"

It was my niece's 7th birthday today. Considered as a debut for the kid, we celebrated Kitchie's 7th birthday at Mc Donald's in Vega Center, just before the UP Los Banos gate.

I bathed my 2 kids just before lunch and I took a bath at around 1:30pm. I prepared myself for the children's party. I put on a blue-pink-white stripe blouse and a pair of jeans, fixed my hair and put on some face powder and some lip gloss to moisturize my dry lips---a typical way of fixing myself before leaving the house.

My sister drove the van while my brother drove his pick-up. I was riding with my sister on the van for my husband is at work. I did not drive any car anymore for we could fit in the van already. My kids, my sister's family, my mom and 2 other cousins rode with my sister on the van.

It was drizzling that time. It was around 2:15 in the afternoon when we were dropped off at the McDo entrance in Vega Center as my sister looked for a good parking slot. Mom took care of fetching the 3 kids with an umbrella while me and my teen-age cousin alighted the van last. We just ran towards the food chain entrance without any umbrella at all.

The kids entered the establishment first. They were rushing towards the second floor, where the party will be held. I, my cousin and mom followed.

As we entered the glass door, I noticed 4 kids eating on the table on the right hand corner of the door. They were 2 girls and 2 boys, around 8-10 years of age. They were seated by two's at each row, facing each other on the table. They do not look so rich. They seem to be below average in terms of socio-economic status. It seems their families are not much gifted in terms of material things but they look so happy eating at Mc Donald's. It seems that they were just enjoying the Christmas gifts they received by eating-out at McDo.

The four children were all similing as they were looking at us, as we entered the glass door. Suddenly, one of the girls said, "Ate, ang ganda mo raw, sabi nya!" She was looking at me as she said those words and and she was pertaining to the young boy beside him, who had his back turned on me but his face was looking halfway at me, smiling. He seemed so shy.

Trying to react so that the children would not feel snobbed, I confirmed to the girl about what she said and told her, "Ako ba?" And then the girl said, "Oo, ate, sabi nya, " while pointing at the boy beside him again. I just smiled to them and said "thank you" as I went straight to the second floor to follow my kids and niece.

I want to take it as a joke, or that they just wanted to make fun of me. However, I also know that kids do not know how to make lies and I was so happy to know that even kids apppreciate me. I thought I have changed already, after all the things I've been through lately. But these kids made me feel that there should be nothing to be worried about. Life must go on. With the simple admiration of kids, I appreciated life better! I was also happy to observe that kids, at this state of their lives, enjoy the meaning of the holiday season, in their own, simple ways!

This is a good New Year welcome for me. Tonight, we are hosting a game program for the less fortunate kids around our neighborhood, still all about kids! Instead of lighting firecrackers which would be risky for them, we just host games to keep them busy waiting for new year's eve. Every year, they enjoy the games and the prizes!

We've been doing this activity for 15 years. The kids who participated has been 2 generations already. The kids, when we started this activity every new year's eve, now have grown up. Some were parents already. Now, the kids of the "old kids" participate in the games!

It is really a nice feeling to help other less fortunate people enjoy and let them have fun! The prizes we give were not much valuable, only candies, chips and some other small tokens, but what is more important is how we trigger then to enjoy the activity, practice sportsmanship and good teamwork. This is what we want to teach the children.

Children who have participated in the activity had been 2 generations already. Probably, next time, the people who will be hosting the games will be the sencond generation as well---the Casino clan children in Los Banos!


31december2008
19:09hrs

A Different Christmas

Year 2008 is really a different Christmas for me.

December 2008 is very hectic. It was already the 3rd week of the month, yet I am still having a business trip. I needed to report to work until December 22 and I needed to work after that, at home, even though I am on vacation leave. I had more limited time for my personal errands and I needed to rush everything.

I also have a different approach for Christmas 2008. Years earlier, I was always the one who initiates Christmas greetings through SMS. I always make sure that I was the first one to greet people first through SMS. I compose my own Christmas greeting and put every member of the family as 'sender' in the SMS. Besides, I make sure that I greet everybody, sending Christmas greeting SMS's to all the contacts in my phonebook.

This year, I changed. I lost the zest to greet everybody. I only initiated an SMS to my family and to my friends in Indonesia. I only replied those who greeted me with a simple "Merry Christmas, (name of sender)!", without any special message at all--- a sign of respect to those who made the effort to greet me, except, of course, those people whom I did not expect would greet me, and those who have additional questions in their SMS. At least my greeting is so short and simple but it comes from the heart! Besides, I got a chance to prove who really are sincere in sending their Christmas SMS's to me. I have recorded them all in my inbox! :)

This year is also the Christmas season when I didn't care much about the expenses. It was not about the gifts but it's about the needs of my family, especially my mom. I contributed more for the food, compared to the previous years. Also, I just asked her what she needs for a gift. I believe she already have all the material things she wants so I just asked her what she needs more. It was then assured that what I will give her will be very useful for her.

This year is also the first time when I gave my kids the liberty to buy what they want from their 'aginaldo'. Since they were born, I always deposit in their bank accounts all the money they received for Christmas, and even money received from other special occassions and ordinary days. Even the Christmas gift checks from my company, I convert it to cash and deposit them in their individual bank accounts. No wonder why "they even have more savings than me", as what my husband says! :)

But this year, I believe they have already matured a little and they must enjoy what they earn...of course at a limited cost only! hehe! They are just allowed to buy something at a certain amount, probably the gift checks they got from the Ninong's and Ninang's and the rest will still be deposited to their bank accounts. I gave them the liberty to spend but they are still being trained about the value of money.

These are only a few differences I observed this year. Is it because I am getting older? Or is it due to the changes happening around me?

Well, whatever the reason may be, the only thing that did not change is that I still spend Christmas (and New Year) with my family here in my hometown in Los Banos. We never spent the holiday in Las Pinas because it is not 'where' you spend the holiday but it should be more on the 'how' and 'with whom' you spend Christmas with!

28december2008

21:27 hrs

Nice to be back

It has been a long time since I last wrote blogs! I almost forgot my log-in name and password. After so many trials, I finally got it! :)

Well, Christmas day is almost over but I wanna greet everybody first a very merry Christmas! I hope everybody enjoyed their special time with their families and loved ones!

I had not written blogs for a long time that I had so many things in mind that I would like to talk about. However, I can only write them one at a time. Since it's Christmas day, I wanna talk about how I spent the Christmas season this year.

Q4 this year had been a unique year-end for me. So many turning points had happened. So many lessons were learned and so many situations were experienced. Some friends were lost but a few friends were also gained. God really balances everything and He always compensates for what He takes away from you. He always replaces things lost with something better and He gives you better experiences for something that is taken away from you.

I had been through a lot this year and the last 3 months are really something remarkable. It has been the time when I experienced losing a friend. It has been the time when I almost quit my work. It has been the time when I almost lost my patience. It has been the time when I proved that I could really be trusted... from 1,2 or 3 people whom I really shut my mouth off when it comes to sharing their deepest secrets! It has been the time when I almost lost my stance... I almost broke my ankle! I needed to stop my daily exercise and so something in me changed. I was always sick and stressed lately. I was so sad to know that my deaf-mute aunt is also blind now, due to diabetes. So many other things happened and the others I must just keep to myself.

It was also only this year that I could not take all my VL's anymore. The year has almost ended and I still have 11 days VL remaining. There is no way of availing it anymore. Besides, I needed to work, deliver a presentation, during my vacation and send it even before I am scheduled to go back to work. This really is a very stressful year for me!

For my personal errands to do, this was also the first time when I panicked for Christmas gifts. Years before, I already finished wrapping gifts by November 30. This time, I am still rushing for gift-shopping until December 22! I think I really lack time for myself due to the the workload I had lately.

But still, I am still happy that there is always a bright side of everything. I gained new experiences. I became 1 step more mature and gained another year in my life. I am happy that I spent another Christmas with my friends and family. I can now walk straight! hehe! I may have been always sick lately but still I am here writing blogs.

Despite the very busy schedule, I still had a chance to spare some time with my friends...release the stress, vent out my agonies and return to favor to them as well. This was also the first time when we had our Christmas get-together before Christmas day! It was so good to know that we had a better planning this time and that we all could find a common time for our group before Christmas!

What I am most happy about this Christmas is that my family is complete this Christmas! Dad is away but I know he is watching over us, for 9 straight years! I am thankful that mom is still physically and emotionally very strong and she is still very motivated to reach for her dreams! I am thankful that my sister surpassed her medical procedure and my brother found a good job this year! I am thankful that all of us are healthy, despite the few stress we have from work.

Christmas is really something to be thankful for. It falls towards the end of the year and it really is a good timing to reflect on what happened to your life each year. Since it its the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, it is something worth reflecting on what 'rights' and 'wrongs' you had done in the past year... something worth continuing or worth correcting for. It is the time worth reflecting on the experiences you had, the people who became a part of your life and reflecting on the purposes they play for you, the experiences you had and the purposes it played as well, for every situation has a purpose...or else, it would not happen to you instead.

By now, Christmas day is over. It's 12:12am of December 26, 2008. Christmas day is over but we must always keep in mind the true meaning of Christmas! Let us all remember that everything has a purpose!

Merry Christmas!

25december2008

23:03hrs

Regrets

Something unforgetable but a well-learned lesson, happened tonight. It was not intentional but I really regret that those words came from my mouth. ..

My dearest Kei,

I am so sorry about what happened tonight. It was not intentional that those words came from me. I just want to set examples and open your mind to the real world. It was not implied that it was you I was pertaining to. It was just coincidental that everything happened and I regret so much speaking those words that hurt you.

It was so heart-breaking for me to see tears falling down from your eyes because of words that came from my mouth. At your very young age, I never thought that those words would hurt you. Now I had a lesson learned. I just realized that you are starting to have a mature mind. I must talk maturely to you then. I never thought that people at your age would understand and be affected by those kind of words. I adore you for doing so. It just means that all the things that I taught you are now being processed in your heart and mind.

The moment I saw tears falling from your eyes, I hugged you tight, kissed you and apologized for what I have done. I am thankful enough that you understood my explanation well and you took away all your grudges for me.

I hope and pray that you continue to understand me as I get older and face more challenges in life. I hope and pray that you, together with Keziah, will always be by my side, whatever happens. Let us face life's challenges together! I will always be there for you and Keziah---an ear to listen, an arm to hold on, a shoulder to cry on and a chest to provide comfort. Never forget that you have a mother who will do anything for you.

I love you so much and thanks for always understanding and loving me. Continue to be a strong girl but never forget to release your emotions. It will always help you ease the pain and will make you a stronger person as you learn how to handle life's obstacles. In doing so, it makes you mature and makes more challenges in life easier to handle!

I am so sorry again. Thank you for accepting my apologies. I love you so much!

love always,

Mommy Ro

-maron-

04december2008

00:06 hrs

purpose

I really am thankful that God has given me lots of friends and is continuing to give me more new friends, despite that fact I am starting to lose some. I strong believe that in every loss, there is always something much more in return.

Besides, if you lose something, there will come something that will make you realize the beauty of the other side or the important of others who you might be ignoring already. Losing something is really a blessing for it is a start of something new and better.

It was last night that a friend of mine suddenly buzzed me in YM. It was so unexpected and I did not expect that we will chat until almost mignight. At fist it was a simple "hi-hello" chat. However, it ended up me opening up to her on my grudges and she, sharing her similar experiences with me. In the end, she whispered a prayer for through YM and it was a very assuring and relieving one! [A really big thanks, Faith! I really, really, really appreciated it! :) ]

It was a very nice feeling to know who your true friends are. You will really feel it. They may be far away but once they know your dilemma, they are really very sincere and caring about it. They are very compassionate. They will really encourage you in every way you can and there are no restrictions on how they comfort you.

I am very proud to say that God loves me! Despite the challenges I have been going through, He keeps on giving chances for me to have communication even with far-away and long lost friends... at least for them to know how I am doing and if I am doing alright. He keeps on giving me new friends whom I could really trust and new friends who can help me relax and forget about my grudges.

AT the same time, God also helps me realize the importance of my existence in this world! It was not only me going through these challenges these past few days, weeks and months. Some other friends, who are also in the similar situation, keeps on opening up to me, asking for an ear and comfort.

With this, I can feel a 2-way, give-and-take concept of friendship. It may not be a give-and-take between two people but a give-in-take relationship with my network of friends whom I care for and who cares for me. God really made each of us in a unique way. Each person has a purpose. Each situation has a purpose. Each move has a purpose. Each challenge has a purpose.

I believe that whatever "super-typhoon" comes into you life, we will be able to surpass it as long as the trust, determination, perseverance and faith is there. God gives us challenges for a purpose---to mold us to be stronger persons! As long as we trust Him to lead us on our way, and as long as we do not do anything against His will, we will surely succeed!

Let's keep in mind that those are only challenges! Challenges has a purpose so we must hold still and hang on. Anyway, He also gives us sources of strength to hold on to. So, never surrender!

-maron-
28november2008
7:34am

trust and friendship

People are really made different from each other. They act differently. They perceive differently. They have different styles, opinions and personalities. They also have different ways on how they look at other people and that makes each person unique.

Meanwhile, I am so happy to know that a friend of mine trusted me so much by sharing her greatest sentiments. We were close friends but we are not used to sharing things that are very sensitive and personal. However, she revealed everything to me lately.

I had mixed emotions about her story. I pitied her but at the same time I felt compassionate about her. I understood her feelings so much for I had the same experience before. What I did to uplift her is to give her lots of encouragement and pieces of advise, based on my experiences.

Actually, this is not a story about her, for I respect her privacy. It's about me, being happy that people see me as a very trustworthy person... something I should be proud about yet something for me to take care of. Indeed, that is one of the strengths I have. I value friendship, that's why I value trust by, at least, keeping sensitive things private.

On the contrary, there are also people who really cannot trust me in anyway I could be. I do not know why? Maybe they are questioning something in me. Or probably they could not accept me as a person. Anyway, I consider those kind of people as my angels...angels that keep on guiding me to the right path, by making me realize that it is not a good direction they are taking.

Nevertheless, I am still happy that I am blessed with so much friends and loved ones whom I continue to be my sources of strength, my listeners and my mentors. I am a pleaser type of person. I tend to please everybody up to the point that it leaves pain in me. Now I understand why there are lots of people around who cares for me... for they will be the ones that I can hold on to during the times that I am drowning and losing my energy to survive...

Thanks to all my trusted friends... thanks for returning the favor of trusting me... It would always be better to trust than stab at the back...

-maron-
26november2008
23:01 hrs

Job Interview Questions

Job interviews are always critical. It is a way of proving how you sell yourself to your employers. It is a living face behind you resumes or curriculum vitae so you must be careful in answering any question the interviewer or panel will ask.

First, you must prepare yourself. Dress up smartly and feel beautiful and handsome. It makes you to be presentable and helps build your self confidence as well. Then be ready to answer their questions.

As a guide, these are some typical questions during a job interview:

• Briefly introduce yourself.
• Why do you consider applying in this company?
• Why are you leaving your company?
• What was your greatest accomplishment?
• Whats is your greatest regret in life?
• How is you relationship with your boss?
• What do you think is the most high-impact decision you have made?
• How do you handle stress?
• If I will bring 3 people you know here---your mother, your youngest kid and your boss, -----and I will ask them who you are, what do you think each will tell about you?
• What do you think is the greatest motivator for you to stay in a company?
• How do you see yourself during the first 30 days of your job, assuming you are already hired in this company?
• What do you think will be the best innovation that this company could launch?
• What do you think is a 'best' product to launch?
• What do you think can you contribute to this company?
• How do you handle a stubborn colleague?
• How do you handle a stubborn boss?

These are just a few of the questions but may help as a guide for you when preparing for the interview. You may take some time and think about the answers the night before your scheduled interview. Make sure you give the best answers that would impress the interviewers. Just be honest, be natural and confident in your answers!

By the way, these job interview questions are basically not for fresh graduates and first-timers!Good luck!

-maron-

22november2008

17:14 hrs

Friends and Challenges

There had been lots of challenges in my life lately. This is the main reason why my friends noticed that I am losing some weight. I hardly sleep. I hardly eat. I need to divide my time, or rather multiply it so that I could do more tasks at a time.

However, there is one thing that I regret doing, i.e. challenging myself! If only I did not challenged myself, I should be at peace right now!

Things are getting better but some are getting worse in some aspects. I cannot take my pride leaving people who did their best to support me, but I cannot live with people who are not sincere as well. This lead to my decision to challenge myself but in return, made my situation worse.

Still, this will not stop me from searching for more challenges. Challenges makes a person experienced. Experiences make a person mature. Maturity leads you to perfection and avoiding mistakes in life. This is just the start of a new journey. A more exciting trip will follow and I must be ready for it!


Being in this kind of journey makes you closer to God, the one One whom you could get strength from. Though the decision to challenge myself came from me, I believe it is in His will for me to do so. I discovered many things. I discovered new friends. I discovered who among old friends are really there for you, not just for good times but for down situations as well. I discovered who among them are sincerely concerned, and who among them are willing to help or at least cheer you up. I discovered true friends who are always willing to listen. True friends who are willing to give time and comfort. True friends who, I consider as angels sent from above, that help me save my day.


God provides everything. If something is lost, He will replace it with something better. If you lost someone, then more people will come and cheer you up. If you lost in a game, you will discover that you had fun. If you were lost, you will discover a better route. We must just keep the faith and we must trust Him that everything is happening as planned.


These are just challenges. It will just build a stronger person me. It will give me more hope. It will open up better opportunities. Whatever my decision will be, for sure I will be guided along the way and learned to be accepted by people I unintentionally hurt. I must not sound selfish for them anf if they really are true friends, they will surely understand...



-maron-
20november2008
23:32 hrs

Reflection on my 31st

Birthdays must be considered special but this year is something different! The kids enjoyed more than me. Probably because I was not able to swim because of my monthly period, the pain on my sprain and I am afraid the sprain will worsen if I swim in the pool. But of course, I enjoyed singing in the karaoke...something that I really enjoy doing! :D Anyway, let's forget about the celebration and focus on this year's reflection.

What happened a year ago? A year ago, I was in Kuhala resort in Rizal, celebrating my birthday working and having a team-building with my colleagues! However, it was indeed a memorable one because, as far as I can recall, it was my only birthday when I cried. Even during my 18th birthday, I cried during the celebration but it was not celebrated on exactly November 16th.

On my 30th year, lots of things had happened.

It was the year when there was a big career change for me. After all the hardships, I was finally upgraded and I was transferred to a totally new category....new team, new products, new process, new plant, new production trial schedules! I needed a big adjustment but thank God I am surviving! And I hope to survive further...

It was also the year when I got to discover new friends---friends that will hopefully be there for me through thick and thin, friends that I do hope will last a lifetime, friends that I shared happy memories with. Better yet to say, discover new friends but keep the old ones! And I am trying to discover more for not all can be kept forever!

This was also the year when I had a palmistry reading and guess what?! Some predictions are really happening, or had happened already after I knew the prediction. Hopefully, those negative predictions could be controlled.

Furthermore, it was this year that I had my farthest travel so far. Travelling for 24 hrs, by air or around 34 hours, including the transit, I came to visit the farthest country I've been so far... Brazil in Latin America. Though the journey was so tiring, I enjoyed the place, I got to experience the culture, and I enjoyed networking with foreign friends! But of course, the learning from the workshop must never be ignored!

It was also at this age when I got a chance to have a communication with my long lost (boy) friend. After more than 10 years, he found me in Friendster but it was good to know that I have learned to forgive and forget... because time heal all wounds. Besides, I have learned to move on, especially now that I have settled with my own family.

Speaking of 'family', it was also this year when we discovered that Kaira also need to wear eyeglasses! Right now, all 4 of us in the family wears eyeglasses, with my husband having it only while doing computer works. And besides, I got to 'fake' mine with my contact lenses! hehe!

Two weeks before my 31st birthday was also a memorable one. My mom almost lost her finger and I almost broke my ankle, two things that happened in 2 separate situations! The bad news is, I am still suffering from it right now. I still have not fully recovered by stance.

These were all I can remember, so far---the highlights of my 30th year on earth.

Going back to the celebration, I think it's part of maturing that you think more about others rather than celebrating and having fun for yourself. Priorities were set at a different level. Things were planned not according to what you want but according to what your loved ones need.

I believe I had considerably great accomplishments this year. I have gone through many trials that made me a more experienced, more matured and better person... making me stronger and ready for bigger challenges in life!

-maron-
17november2008
22:51 hrs

I Have Dreamt About Her---A Tribute

It was Saturday night when I dreamed about her. Who is she? She is Sherlyn Cadapan, my highschool close friend who was known to be abducted by the military in June 26, 2006 in Hagonoy, Bulacan. That was 2 years ago. I, myself, was surprised with that news.

Sherlyn was my schoolmate during the elementary days in Maquiling School, Inc. but we used to know each other by name for there were over 200 students in 1 batch. During highschool, she was one of my close friends in third year at UP Rural Highschool. We were always seatmates for her surname was 'Cadapan' while mine was 'Casiño'. We were were always partners in almost all activities. Many times she opened up to me about her family problems. I gave all my support to her on her career as an athlete. She was always a Palarong Pambansa delegate for track and field.

It was in college when we separated ways. She studied in UP Diliman, while I studied in UP Los Baños. We seldom see each other then. At times, we gather during friend's gimicks. I also seldom see her during November 1 whenever we visit our departed loved ones at the Los Baños Cemetery. It was after graduation when our communication was stopped. The last time I heard about her was when she was working in UP Diliman as a PE teacher but at the same time trying to have some scholarship for further studies. Thus, the June 26, 2006 news really astounded me!

Just around 2 weekends ago, we went home to LB for a weekend visit to my mom's home. My whole family was there and my kids, mom and I were watching television (MMK) in my mom's room. Suddenly, my niece came rushing and knocking to my mom's room door. "Tita Ga! Tita Ga! Your friend Sherlyn is dead! C'mon watch it in the news!"


I was so surprised that I hurriedly grabbed the remote control and changed the channel to GMA. It was almost too late to hear the whole news in Jessica Soho's program. I only saw Tita Linda (Sherlyn's mom) holding a candle and seems to be praying over a certain area in a forest. My sister, my niece's mother, came over and told me that Sherlyn was dead. She was able to watch the whole segment and told me that the found remains were not yet confirmed to be Sherlyn's but it was assumed that it was hers.

I really felt sad about the news. More questions came into my mind. What happened to her? Is the news true? How was the baby? (Because there were news before that she was pregnant when she was abducted). Why was she not given a chance to see her family? STill, I pitied on her and juts hope and pray she'll be given justice!


Meanwhile, it was last Saturday night when I dreamed about her. I woke up Sunday morning recalling that I saw Sherlyn in my dream!

It was actually a multi-scened dream. At first I was with my office colleagues, having some kind of team-building activity. In one of the activities, I needed to walk around and find some of my groupmates. That was when I met Sherlyn. She had a short hair and whe was wearing a black t-shirt with a colorful print on the front side. She smiled at me so I smiled back. I tried to touch and hug her and ask her what happened. I told her that there was a big news that she was dead and I kept on asking her if it's true. I cannot clearly recall if she answered by question but as far as I can recall, she was in a hurry and left me after a very short conversation. We went opposite ways!

I do not know what that dream means! Is she still alive? or is she trying to say something?

I do hope that wherever she is right now, she will be free from pain and has already forgiven selfish people who made her life that way.

Some websites about Sherlyn:

http://www.abc.net.au/foreign/content/2007/s2096113.htm
http://stopthekillings.org/stknpv2/?q=pagpupunyagi-nina-karen-sherlyn
http://www.pinoypress.net/forums/comments.php?DiscussionID=2
http://www.protectionline.org/Sherlyn-Cadapan-Karen-Empeno-risk,6208.html

-maron-

11october2008

13:06 hrs

Fingers and Ankles

It was at around 7:30am of October 31, 2008 when I sent an SMS to my mom informing her that we will go home to Los Banos on either October 31 late night of November 1 early morning for All Saint's Day. I was on a bus going to the office then. It was also only then when I realized that mom was in the emergency room of Los Banos Doctors' Hospital, having her broken right middle finger stitched.

Mom accidentally banged her finger at our backdoor while preparing for the office. Good thing the bone was not affected but lots of blood were lost. She needed to remove the fingernail and had 3 stitches around her middle finger. So pity! :(

That night, were were all prepared to go home to LB. We intentionally plan to go late at night to avoid the heavy traffic jam due to the holiday. When we were set to go leave at around 10pm, the car engine didn't start. We have no choice but to set home early morning of November 1.

I woke up early on the Saturday morning of November 1. At 5:30 am, I was fixing our things we need to bring home. As I got something from the travelling nested on the lower part of the stairs and was set to go to the toilet to take a bath, I thought I was already on the ground floor, when in fact, I still need to take 2 steps down. Having my foot ready for a flat floor but in fact still elevated, I fell down and twisted my ankle. My husband saw me and tried to help me stand up but I can't! I was in severe pain and told him that I'd rather sit on the floor for a few minutes. this time, I felt blood rising to my head. I felt through my lips that I was about to faint. I see the surrounding getting dimmer and dimmer. I felt a bit dizzy until I only see darkness even with my eyes opened. I can feel cold perspiration coming out of my pores so I just lied down on the floor. After a few minutes of trying to get my full consciousness back, I stood up slowly and transferred to the sofa in the living room. I can feel pain on my ankle as I walk towards the living room. I lied there for a few minutes and when I felt ok, I went to the toilet to take a bath.

After taking a bath, I noticed that my right inner ankle was swollen and I was in severe pain. I decided to have an x-ray, thinking there were some dislocated joints but I planned to have it in LB. And so we set home and went straight to the LBDH emergency room right after dropping off my family in the cemetery to spend November 1 with my dad.

When I reached LBDH, there were only few people there, for it was a holiday. Good thing there was 1 general physician there who was able to check me up. However, he just prescribed me to have some ankle support and and some pain relievers. I can't have my x-ray done for there was no radiologist to interpret the results. I just settled for pain relievers and an ankle support.

Even in severe pain, I still tried my best to go to my Dad's grave in the cemetery. It was a very long walk from the cemerety gate to the exact site but I tried to bear the pain. My husband held me as I walked lamely. The 10-minute walk became a 30-minute journey, just to spend the holiday with my dad.

On the second day, my ankle was more swollen and dark spots started to emerge. These were bruises caused by the forceful stretching of the muscles.

Right now, I am stucked here at home. I can't go out to see the doctor. I can't walk to get a public transportation but I neither can't drive to the hospital. SO I had no choice but to wait here at home, do paper works, emails and attend webcast meetings through the intranet. It really was a good thing that I had my Unilever laptop with me so I can deliver my work offsite.

-maron-
03november2008
10:40hrs

Boredom

Boredom is a bad enemy. Whenever you are bored, you are not inspired to accomplish things. You may not be inspired to inspire other people. You are not inspired to work.

You must keep yourself busy whenever you feel bored... or else all the downsides of your life will keep on flashing back. All your desperations, failures and pains will keep on coming back. It will turn you down more and would lead to depression.

The worst case of boredom is being being fed up by things that you "must do". In that case, you have no way to escape not unless you make a turning point decision in your life. Leaving a job is an example. If you are bored with your job but you must do it for a leaving, efficiency is affected, and so is your credibility and reputation and might not help you find another job which you think you will not be bored of.

If you keep yourself busy, you are helping yourself to avoid things that will hurt you more. Listen to the music. Sing with it. Surf the net. Play computer or mobile phone games. Watch a movie.

However, the best cure for boredom is a good mindset. You must set your expectations to low levels. You must choose to enjoy and just appreciate the perks of your situation. Don't forget to reflect and you will always see a good side of it! If you are bored now, you will enjoy later. That is how life goes! Challenges make life worth living for only in challenges that you can make big accomplishments!

-maron-

31october2008

20:38hrs

Overjudgment

At first, I thought that I should go by myself, learn by myself, work by myself, and let not other people interfere and affect me. I thought I could bear it. I thought I could be stubborn enough. I thought I could play with it but they were

only what I thought!

You will never meet perfect people. However, some people knew themselves as very perfect ones that they tend to question your capabilities. The worst thing is, they do it behind you and these are the people whom I am scared much about... because you wouldn't know when they will betray you. They tend to use you and befriend you whenever they need you, but turn you down in return when you are of no use to them.

At first I thought, I will not be affected but judging your capabilities is a different story. But still, I must keep silent and go with the flow, for it won't do any good if I fight for my rights. I will just let them enjoy what they are doing and in due time, I will get my prize! For I am sure that those who are meek are blessed that those who pretend to be perfect!

-maron-

20october2008

22:28 hrs

Optic Nerve

It was more than 2 years ago when my youngest daughter, Keziah, had undergone an eye surgery. At the age of 3, she needed to have a eye surgery due to 'exotropia' or uncontrolled eye muscle movement which tends to have her iris directed outwards. Her pediatric opthalmologist needed to re-attach the nerve behind her eyeballs at the right place to correct the direction of her iris. As a therapy, she needed to wear eyeglasses afterwards.

I can still remember the fear I had when my 3-year-old needed to undergo an eye surgery in Makati Medical Center. This could be a major operation and besides, it involves a very vital organ---the eyes. I needed to choose between the pain from the eye surgery and the exotropia but I chose the general anaesthesia to save the health of my daughter.

At 3 years old, she was very innocent then but she already can feel the pain of all the injections she had. She actually had a phobia. She kept on hugging me and didn't want to let go until I fetched her to the operating room. It was only after the effect of the anaesthesia that I was able to leave her freely. However, as I saw her as she suddenly fell to sleep a few second after injecting the anaesthesia into her dextrose, I felt that my heart was dying! I never wanted to leave her but the doctor told me to do so. I went out of the operating room and sat in the waiting area outside. I was crying then. I know this was just an 'eye surgery' but the picture of my child as she suddenly fell down to sleep kept on flashing into my mind. I never saw her that way for knowing her, Keziah is a very hyperactive kid and she only stops when she sleeps. I never left the operating room until the Dr. Mary Rose Teodoro came out of the operating room after 2 hours. She talked to me and told me that everything was ok and that Keziah is in the recovery room.

I immediately went inside the recovery room and was so afraid to see my kid with all the tubes and apparatuses connected to her body. She had an oxygen apparatus on her nose. She had a heart-beat monitor on her finger and lots of tubes on her chest. She had her both eyes covered and she was sleeping soundly. I waited for her to wake up. Suddenly, she cried, louder and louder and was telling me, "Yung eyes ko mommy, wala kong makita!" I tried to calm her down and told her not to rub her eyes but it took some time to comfort her.

After more than an hour of monitoring in the recovery room, it was now time for her to rest privately in our room. She slept again with her eyes covered. At dawn, she asked for food and I was happy to see her eating crackers and trying to feel the Chocolait with her eyes covered, as I try to feed her. At least, she is improving and she didn't cry anymore. The next morning, we visited her pediatric opthalmologist. She checked her eyes, removed the cover and told us that everything was doing good. We were released from the hospital on the same day. The next check-up followed after 1 week and she had her eyeglasses on at the grade of +1.50 and +1.75 on each eye.

After more than 2 years of wearing eyeglasses and constant check-up with Dr. Teodoro, the grade of her eyeglasses now lowered to +1.00 and +1.50. There was a big improvement and her exotropia now only becomes intermittent and is acceptably improving.

Meanwhile, I noticed that Kaira, my 7-year old, incorrectly copies her assignments. She also complains that she cannot clearly see the blackboard. As we recently had Keziah's eye check-up in the Asian Hospital with the same pediatric opthalmologist, I also had Kaira's eyes checked-up. As expected, Kaira has astigmatism and need eyeglasses at -1.75 and -2.25. Good to know, it could be corrected and 1-month wearing of eyeglasses could help.

Well, who would not expect these kids' eye problems. I started wearing eyeglasses at the age of 9 and tried using contact lenses at the age of 16. Probably it's genetic but lifestyle has a great effect as well. But at least, there are certain technologies and professionals who could implement good eye technologies then.

I just hope everything will be fine with my kids and that their eyesight will be improved further after the therapy.

-maron-

19october2008

22:25 hrs

Changes through Experiences

I just had a short chat with my friend based in China. She was updating me about her stint in Shanghai. To respect her privacy, I will not mention any details about.

We were reminiscing about the things she wanted in life before, that she doesn't like to happen now. However, It is now me who likes those things she wanted before that she doesn't like currently. In short, we seemed to exchange plans and goals.

What could be the reason why we suddenly changed our minds and goals in life? It is mainly because of EXPERIENCES.

I can say that I had the same experience with this friend of mine, at least for the career matters. We were actually together when we were assigned in Indonesia, away from our families and loved ones. We have much different goals then. She wanted to leave while I wanted to stay.

This time, it was totally different. She wanted to stay, I wanted to leave! hehe! These are because of all the experiences we had in the past few years. It's not just probably the career experience but the totality of the experiences we faced in life. This includes family experiences, experiences with friends, experiences outside the country, meeting other people, knowing other culture, and even experiences in love life! Of course, influence could also be have a big impact but these influences could also be considered as experiences... experiences from meeting very influencial people, probably! :)

Thus, experience really plays an important role in the decision making of a person. It affects your goals and dreams. It affects your aspirations and your plans for the future.

This is the main reason why people change---because they learn from their experiences, thus they need to change for something better, or at least try out another way to check if it would do better.

With our discussion, we ended up with 2 statements:

1. It really is important to experience many things in life because it is only when you will be able to determine if you will like it or not.
2. Experiences mold you and makes you realize what you really wanted in life.
   

The best line would be "Experience is the best teacher, so we must learn from our experiences!" Hmmm... something to think about...

-maron-

16october2008

22:47 hrs

FH

The title is not a typographical error for "FHM". It really is 'FH' which means 'Food for the Hungry,' a non -profit, non-government institution which aims to equip, link and mobilize churches, leaders and families in overcoming all forms of human poverty by living in healthy relationships with God and His creation. Activities include feeding programs, scholarship grants / education sponsorship, some medical and housing supports, etc.

My close friend, Chill, works in FH and they plan to release a calendar next year, free for sponsors while for sale for others, to raise more funds for the institution. However, they need to feature FH beneficiaries in the calendars. My husband had the pleasure to took "photo-journalism" shots of the kids for the calendar publication.

Yesterday, my husband, my 2 kids (aged 7 and 5), my baby-sitter and I, together with Chill, headed for Bacoor, Cavite to visit the FH site. I brought along my kids for them to experience what life is outside the lesser comfort zone of poverty.

The kids (FH beneficiaries) did a Christmas card-making activity yeterday. They drew and colored Christmas themes on yellow-colored, pre-cut papers, wrote messages in it and submitted them to the area coordinator for sending to their sponsors in Canada. Each child has 1 Canadian sponsor for this area. My husband took picture of the children while they make the artistic cards for their sponsors. Of course, my 2 kids also made their own Christmas for Kaira's Ninang Chill and for Keziah's Ninong Vince, my other close friend. :)

After taking a number of shots in the church where the kids made Christmas cards, we walked further to the residencial areas to take more pictures of the kids in their houses and the the typical day's activity of the moms, as well as other livelihood activities which also serves as their other source of income. After shooting for half day, we took lunch then headed back home.

I just realized that it is really heart-lifting to volunteer in some CSR activities. I had volunteered so many times in our Company's CSR activity, Pasiglahin ang Batang Pinoy, a feeding program, but I got to had more realization when we volunteered for FH. This is mainly because:

• 
  
  This is purely a volunteer act, meaning the effort was very personal and the cost we incurred during the volunteer act came from my personal pocket, and not from the company's funds. We drove our own car, our own cameras and we bought our own food. Unlike with Pasiglahin, car servcice was always arranged for us, budget from the activities we make comes from the Pasiglahin budget andwe were just there to conduct the activities without spending a single centavo.


• 
  
  I had a chance to let my children experience and see with their own eyes the difference outside the community we are living in. At least they got to know not to waste our resources and spend their money wisely.


• 
  
  My husband was happy to share his expertise and talent by taking pictures of the actual activities for the benefit of the institution which eventually benefits the children.

However, this is another eye-opening activity that we are really much more lucky and blessed not to experience such poverty. FH had a very good mission to prioritize education to enable these children to improve the economic status of their families.

If you want to help or be a sponsor, kindly drop me an email @ maron.carey@gmail.com or straight to FH email @ fhiphilippines@fhi.net. You may also visit their website at www.fhi.net/fhiphilippines .

-maron-

05october2008

8:09 hrs

Ring Back II

Finally, I wore the ring again today. I have a complete set of 3 rings around my fingers, my wedding ring, my engagement ring and a friendship ring.

Meanwhile, I have mentioned in my previous blogs that I asked our janitress to check with her co-janitress in the other building if she has seen my ring there. Coincidentally, she asked me just this afternoon if I found my ring, at the same day that I wore it again after being lost for more than a month!

What a concidence! It was really a great surprise for me to have everything interconnected with each other!

-maron-
02october2008
21:40 hrs

Umbilical Cord

She can feel how I feel. This is what I realized when Kaira told me she will buy me a ring when she grows and have an income of her own.

This happened while my family spent a Saturday strolling at SM South Mall. Kaira knew then that I lost my ring. If for my husband’s opinion, the lost ring was of no big deal for me, I am happy to know that Kaira, my 7-year old, knows how I felt that night when I lost my ring.

As we were walking down the alley of the mall, my husband suddenly took a glance at the window of a jewelry store, looking at a ring quite similar to the one I lost. I took a glance as well. We stopped and discussed there for a few seconds until Kaira told me, “Mommy, ibibili kita ng ring pag may work na ako.” I was so touched by my kid’s act. I replied, “Talaga?” And then she answered, “Opo. Kasi nawala yung ring mo di ba? Para happy ka na.” And so I smiled and hugged her and told her to study well so she could buy me the ring.

There is really a big mystery beyond the mother-daughter relationship---much stronger than a husband-wife one. I can really feel that my kids, Kaira and Keziah, can feel how I feel. Sometimes, I am so surprised that they can read between the lines and even speak out words that are related to my personal struggles, which I do not and need not share to them. Probably it is the umbilical cord that connected us while they were in my womb for 9 months. God is
really powerful! He had all the ways and explanations to all our questions, even without asking it at all!

-maron-

01october2008

19:31pm

Ring Back

It was in August 21 that I lost a very precious item of mine. I very seldom lose things for I always take care of them. I never left and lost an umbrella somewhere, for example. Before I leave a place, I make sure that I have checked everything I own. But this time, I lost an 'engagement ring' my husband had given me on December 18, 2003 at the roofdeck of Vivere Suites in Alabang.

I always wore that ring from then on, together with our wedding ring and a ring from my Indonesian friend that I used to lock my wedding ring with. After more than five years, I lost it somewhere!

I can still clearly remember that day when I needed to go with 2 Thai visitors as they take a tour at Third Party Plant inside the Office compound. My boss asked me a favor to join them, and so I did. As we entered the Savoury plant, we needed to be in complete gear---head caps, lab gowns, shoe cover and all jewelries off! I put my earrings, watch and rings inside my jeans pocket. One of the visitors, whom I already considered as my second mom for we were together in Shanghai last year, also asked a favor to put her jewelries in my pocket for her pants do not have one. And so I granted the favor. I was actually very cautious for I was afraid to lose her elusive jewelries. And so we had the plant tour for an hour.

I was a good time-keeper then. I kept on reminding them about the time for they still need to transfer to the other plant, around 1 ½ hrs from Manila before they go to the airport and go back home to Thailand.

After the plant tour I cautiously took everything from my pocket. I wore mine and gave back the set of jewelries to the visitor. And so the day continued as I fetched them to the car going to the other plant then continued my typical office day’s work.

When I reached home, I used to take off all my jewelries as I change to more comfy clothes. I suddenly realized that I just took 2 rings off! My diamond ring was gone! I was so sad then. I ran to my husband, who was sleeping then, and told him that my ring was lost. He had no reaction and immediately went back to sleep, butfor sure he was mad at me for losing a precious item he gave to me. I was so sad that I sent SMS to my friend and told him about my situation. He can very much feel my misery in my text messages.

I tried hard to recall where I left and lost it. I sent SMS to the production people and ask them to try to find the ring in the ‘used gown’ bin. They replied and told me that they did not find one.
The next day, I asked one of our janitress to ask the one assigned in the building near the plant to check if she can find a ring somewhere. I was really desperate to bring it back but at the same time, I had to accept that it has already vanished. Days after that, I noticed that my husband doesn’t talk to me at all.

Four days after the ring was lost, I needed to leave for a 3-day office activity in Baguio City. My husband and I did not have a chance to talk until my 2nd day when he sent me an SMS. It said he did not fell well about the disappearance of the ring, that it seems that there was no importance for me, etc. In short, we had an argument through SMS. I didn’t pay much attention to it for I didn’t want to issue to become bigger. I just took everything lightly. However, acceptance is always the answer and everything turned out fine after that.

Today is a non-working holiday, in respect to our Muslim brothers and sisters on their end of Ramadan. It was supposed to be a rest day for me but it was also the only chance for me to clean the house. And so I spent the day cleaning, without taking breakfast at all! However, I took a heavy 'brunch'.

I was so busy cleaning when my daughter suddenly approached me saying, “Mommy, I have a surprise for you!” It was really a great surprise for she showed me the ring I lost! I smiled, hugged and thanked her as I asked her where she found it. She told me she found it under the stairs weeks ago but she just kept it first for it might be lost. Probably she forgot about it and just remembered to give it back to me today. My husband was happy to see the ring but was uncertain if it was really the ring, when Kaira showed him the ring. At least, it was a good news for him.

Meanwhile, I really cannot imagine how it was found under the stairs of our home. As far as I can recall, it was lost in the production area. Well anyway, what is important is, I had my ring back. It is really nice to have a something ‘treasured and lost’ back. I hope I could do the same for all the treasured people and things I lost. I hope to have them back, if it would be possible to do so…

-maron-

01october2008

19:20 hrs

Differences

It has been 5 days since I stayed in Campinas, Brazil. Though I am very busy with the workshop and almost had no time to write blogs about my stay here, I found a chance to wake up this early morning to compose one. (Actually, I think I am still on a jet lag that’s why I find difficulties getting a good sleep here. hehe!)

Campinas is very much different than Sao Paolo. Being more than 75km away from the city, this place is very much different than the Sao Paolo. It’s so quiet in here. You seldom see people walking around the place. People do not talk so loud. People tend to be more conservative than the people in the city. I have not seen people with tatoos and ear piercings. People dress more conservatively than in the city—less skin exposed. I have not seen prostitutes. But still, I observed that there are also beggars around.There are also a few policemen around but much less visible than in Sao Paolo. Probably because people here are less war freak.

Ironically, I found it more expensive to shop here than in Sao Paolo. Food and other items are more expensive. The Havaianas and Ipanema slippers are much more expensive than the ones we found in the city. A Brazilian colleague told me last night during our course dinner that it ’should be’ cheaper in Campinas and Valinhos than in Sao Paolo. Probably we just need to look for the cheaper shopping area here. Probably the shop where I went to offers higher prices than the others. Or, probably this area where I am staying is the business center, thus cost of living is more expensive. Hopefully, we can find the cheaper shopping area here.

On food, I just discovered that Brazilian (or probably Latin Americans) are experts in preparing meat dishes…steak, picania, etc)! I did not discover it in Sao Paolo. I did not like the food there but the food here during workshop lunches and dinners tastes much, much better! Or probably, we really just did not have enough time to explore the food in Sao Paolo.


One thing we were amazed about, the security in the workshop, who is a lieutenant police and doing sideline as the workshop security, told us that two of the most dangerous place in Brazil is Rio de Janeiro and the very exact place where we’ve been in Sao Paolo. These places were very open to drugs. Probably that’s the main reason why there are many visible policemen in the city. Quite scary, right?! We stayed in a very dangerous place without us knowing about it. But at least knowing it later helped and made us feel calm and confident that ‘at least, nothing bad happened to us.’

In less than 2 days, I will be coming back home but I am happy that I got a chance to experience differences in cultures in different areas of the same country. I need to discover more so that I can better fill up my experience bank. Two days can still be considered long to discover new things here in Brazil!

-maron-
07aug2008
5:39hrs
Campinas, Brazil

Chinelos Galore!

I just came back to my room to take a rest. We were tired from walking near Sao Jao street, trying to see the and appreciate the city.

This morning, my colleague and I ate breakfast at around 8 am. I woke up at 4:00 am today (3:00 pm Manila time) and I was not able to sleep anymore. Maybe my biological clock is still adjusting but at least the jetlag did not bother me that much. Since I cannot sleep anymore, I just wrote some blogs and try tried to clean-up my MS Outlook. After my laptop battery was over, I decided to took a bath. It was so cold here but I still took a bath at around 6:30 am. I was chilling while taking a bath but the cold weather will not stop me from taking a bath daily, typical for Filipinos!

My colleague and I took breakfast in the hotel cafeteria. By the way, we were lucky enough to find a cheap room at USD 22 per single room per night here in Brazil and that’s inclusive of breakfast already. However, the airport taxi was so expensive! We were fetched from airport to Plaza Hotel in Sao Jao, Sao Paolo at Brazilian Real 80—that’s around PhP 2,300! It was so expensive but at least we are sure that we are safe! We never risked with a cheap transportation here!

After breakfast, we went out of the hotel. It was so cold—probably around 15 degrees C (though I experienced a much colder temperature in Strassbourge, France at around 8 degress C). We took a walk, took pictures with the nice landmarks and familiarized ourselves with the place but one thing we have to accomplish for today is to find Havaianas! They say that Havaianas is cheap here and lots of his colleagues asked him to buy some. I only got one colleague who asked me to buy a pair of Havaianas.

After a long walk, We found a couple of stores which sell Havaianas footwears. We just looked around first coz he still did not have local money then we went back to hotel first to take a rest.
After an hour, we started to find a money changer for him. It’s really difficult to be a tourist in a non-English-speaking country. We tried to find banks and it was so disappointing to know that even banks here do not change USD to Brazilian Real. Of the 5 people we asked where we can change the money (usually using sign language and short English), all keep on pointing at the same direction. I think there is only one stall which changes USD to local money. Finally, we found the shop and we were ready to buy the Havaianas!

We went to the store where we scouted early morning and guess what?! It costs only BR 6-20, depending on the style. Ipanema costs the same but a little more expensive than Havaianas. Imagine, the most expensive costs only around PhP450 while in Manila the cheapest I think is PhP600?! It was so cheap but it was so heavy for my luggage but still, I bought some for my family.


With the cheap cost of this branded ‘chinelos’ (’tsinelas’ in Tagalog and ’slippers/Slip-ons’ in English), other items are not cheap here. Food is expensive. The cheapest is BR 5.00 which is around Php 140. A bottle of mineral water (500 ml) costs around Php 45 and a can of Coke costs around PhP 55. I just don’t have an idea how much the transportation costs coz we still have not ridden any public transportation except for the ariport taxi which we really assume to be expensive. I can compare the cost of living here to be the same as Singapore, a little cheaper than Europe and not as cheap as in Thailand.
I also observed that there are lots of shops for tattoos and ear piercings. They really are so liberated! A few have dreadlock braids but most women show off their skin and cleavages. As per my colleague, this was what he observed in women. I never paid attention to them at all. hehe! But according to him, most women are beautiful, even the storekeepers whom you would not expect to be that beautiful when you are in the Philippines. So far, I was not amazed with the men. They don’t look oustandingly handsome for me… just typical white foreigners!
It is neither safe here. There are lots of people around, most are punks, some are beggars, some are stand-byers whom you can see on the street as early as 8am. At night, there seem to be lots of prostitutes around. Probably the reason why this hotel is cheap is because we are near a ‘red light’ area?! I really have no idea but actually, according to my colleague, this hotel looks like a motel, though for me, it’s a ‘good enough’ room for sleeping! hehe! Anyway, we’ll just stay here for 2 nights, just to have a place to sleep and take a bath. Tomorrow, we’ll be transferring to Hotel Tryp in Campinas for the official business accommodation and the accommodation there costs around USD 85 per night, as compared to this USD 22 per night room.
I think that will be all for my story for today. If I sill have extra time tomorrow, I will write something again about my stay here in Sao Paolo—originally made in Brazil!
Muchos gracias!
Plaza Hotel, Sao Paolo
01aug2008
15:30 hrs local time

income from blogging

I really like writing for it is my way of releasing my emotions. I have done so many blogs before but have done it in my Friendster account only. I just came across a page (I can't remember where) which says I could earn from blogging and so I was inspired to create a blog in google. Who knows, I could really earn from here. :)